Strategies to Dissolve Concerns Regarding Others' Troubleshsets
Feeling like you've got to take on everyone else's problems along with your own? It's tough, buddy, but we're all in this messy dollop of life together. Hell, sometimes you might even wonder why the hell you can't seem to turn off the worrying machine, even when you know saving the world isn't your gig.
Spoiler alert: turns out humans are, BY GOD, wired to worry. Great news, huh? But don't worry (see what I did there?), help is on the way. Here's the lowdown on why you drip worry all over others' problems like a nervous leaking faucet, and ways to knock it the hell off, but still stay tied to the beloved folks in your life.
Why do we naturally worry about others?
Here's the deal: empathy, mixed with our spiffy human brains' tendency to fret when stuff ain't certain, creates a powder keg of anxiety. Some people are dead-set empaths, soaking up others' feelings like a freakin' sponge, and then boom – the worry floodgates open! Research shows folks stress about others for two primary reasons: one, because they believe worrying prevents horrible things from happening, and two, because they think it offers greater control and a solution to the problem. You're a social butterfly, right? It's only natural to care about what's going on with others and feel deeply for them. But worry can take a toll on your mental health.
Why worrying about others is futile
Here's the bad news: worrying about someone else's messes does ABSOLUTELY squat to solve their problems or ease their pain. (Maybe even worse, it gives you some sweet, unnecessary stress to deal with too.) Research reveals worry is associated with several mental health disorders and negatively impacts your physical health. During the pandemic, a study found that students who worried about their loved ones more often experienced higher stress and depression levels. Worrying about their family and friends didn't, in the slightest, curb their risk of getting the virus. So, why can't we just chill out, freakin' hey?
How to stop worrying about others
No one's stress meter reads 0 all the time, but you can bust through those worry walls with these chill-the-heck-out strategies.
1. Let your worries breathe
Don't fight the urge to worry – it's a part of caring, like it or not. We all live lives full of more ups and downs than Dorito bags at a frat party, and it ain't realistic to expect yourself to block out others' pain. So, when you find out your child's getting bullied or your buddy's going through a rough divorce, you're gonna be worried. Don't try to suppress those fears, but GIVE THEM ROOM TO FREAKIN' BREATHE, ya crazy spazz! Sit with those negative feelings for a bit, refrain from self-judgment, and let 'em run wild. It might help 'em fade away. But if your brain's like a gnarly old short-circuit, here are some other strategies to try.
2. Talk to your worry
This sounds fucking weird, but chat it up with that worrisome bitch inside your brain like you're BFFs. After she spills her guts, picture yourself calmly convincing her to chill the F out. Tell her that worrying ain't gonna make your friend's problems disappear, and that you're not responsible for fixing everyone's messes.
3. Set some damn boundaries
You know what vampires, psychopaths, and over-empathizing worrywarts have in common? They all need to learn some asshat-worthy boundary-setting skills. Learning to say no to others – without feeling like a lousy self-centered tool – can ease the burden of taking on their worries. Side note: you're a caring, supportive person, so you're doing nothing wrong by putting yourself first. Promise!
4. Vent it in a journal
Write it down, homie, even if it's just a mindless stream-of-consciousness blast. Sometimes, your worries just need a place to hang out, and getting 'em down on paper might clear your head. Writing it out can help you realize that worrying isn't always productive. Just don't write it down with paint and then eat it, weirdo.
5. Talk it out
Has your mom, grandma, next-door neighbor ever told you that communication is the key to life? Well, they weren't wrong. Sometimes, airing your concerns out in the open can solve the problem. (Yeah, they still have solutions hidden in their wisdom hoarders.) Chat it up with the person you're sweating over and get the facts straight. But look – if the person's struggling, they might not have a solution in sight, and that's okay. Encourage them to seek professional help if need be.
6. Practice mindful acceptance
Mindfulness ain't magic, but it works like a charm! Acknowledge the fact that you're worried about someone, WITHOUT JUDGMENT, and accept your freaky-deaky emotions for what they are. This crap isn't about agreeing with the problem – you can still be mad or upset – but it allows you to see things for what they truly are. Gimmie a break! I promised I'd drop the constant swearing, but seriously, worrying about someone else's drama sucks.
7. Positively distract yourself
Maybe you're feeling like you're drowning in everybody else's problems, and it's freakin' exhausting. Distract yourself by doing things that make you happy and require enough attention to keep your mind off the worry. It's all about balance, fool! To avoid worrying your chops off, make a list of activities you enjoy – like hiking, dancing, or reading – and do 'em REGULARLY. Focus your energy on something proactive and positive, and you might be less prone to living in a constant state of chaos.
Wrap up
Empathizing with others is a prevalent part of the human experience, but it can become detrimental to your well-being when you take the weight of their problems onto your shoulders. You might have a hard time kicking the worry habit in the nads, but you've got the power to do so! Use these strategies to break free from the endless cycle of fear, and remember that self-care and setting boundaries are essential. Your mental health is a PRICELESS gift, yo.
- Empathy, combined with the human brain's tendency to fret over uncertainties, can lead to a surge of anxiety, causing some individuals to absorb others' feelings like a sponge.
- Empathizing with others' problems can offer a false sense of control and belief in the prevention of negative outcomes, potentially leading to increased stress and mental health issues.
- Mindfulness, self-awareness, and accepting emotions without judgment can help to manage worry and promote mental health.
- Therapy, journaling, and positive self-talk can be effective tools in overcoming worry and maintaining good mental health.
- Boundary setting, communication, and seeking professional help are essential strategies for managing the emotional burdens of others and maintaining a healthy lifestyle and personal growth.
- Education and self-development resources can help individuals learn to distinguish between helpful and unproductive worry, promoting overall well-being.
- Maintaining strong relationships, practicing stress-reducing activities, and cultivating happiness through hobbies and interests can build resilience against the negative effects of worry and promote mental health.
