A Family Struggle: Dealing with Religious Baggage and Sibling Loyalty
User Has Dodged Brother's Ordination Ceremony Over Decades of Family Homophobia - Query: AITA?
In a family that's heavily involved in religion, a (28 y/o female) finds herself on the outs due to a long-standing disagreement. Let's delve into this tricky situation.
Back in the day, when my siblings and I were growing up…
My family was religious to the core-God was their first, last, and only love. To them, religious customs were everything, and they dedicated countless hours to church and faith.
Fast forward to yesterday-brother's ordination
300 enthusiastic guests, most of them family, descended upon a stunning venue to witness my brother's transition into the priesthood. A monumental event, to be sure, but I wasn't present. My excuse? I was busy, and I'd known for months that I wouldn't be able to make it. Now my mom, consumed with heartbreak, is left to wallow in sadness over my decision.
Throwback to a time when I lost my sister….
There's a substantial backstory, but I'll keep it brief: my sister came out as gay, and when my brother discovered the truth, he outed her to our parents. As a result, she was evicted-homeless, penniless, and jobless. The family banished us from family gatherings for Thanksgiving since then. My sister, a kind, genuinely outstanding individual, has struggled with mental health issues and stands by her family nonetheless. Witnessing this ordeal has been emotional and difficult for me.
Conversations gone awry
When I've attempted to address the issue, my mom and brother deny the entire thing occurred. Not surprisingly, I've attempted to discuss the situation respectfully. Despite my efforts, I've not received the understanding or resolution I yearn for.
Is it reasonable to avoid a significant life event like this?
My brother wouldn't do the same for me, I believe. So am I the asshat for skipping the most crucial day of his life?
Why not just let bygones be bygones?
In cases of grave disagreements and persisting emotional pain, it's essential to establish boundaries to protect our emotional well-being. Ignoring past hurts won't help us move forward. Even when others deny past events, honesty is vital for healing. Accountability is crucial for relationships to thrive, but sometimes, we have to take a step back.
You're not compelled to participate in events that challenge your values or make you feel uncomfortable. Make a decision that brings you peace, supports your personal growth, and honors your values.
- In the midst of a family heavily rooted in religion and influenced by family dynamics, the individual's involvement in education and self-development, such as mindfulness, has become a significant aspect of her personal growth.
- Despite the family's strict adherence to religious customs, the individual's relationships within the family, especially with her sister, have been drastically altered due to the family-dynamics issue, leading to a lifestyle change for the individual.
- In a family where past disagreements have led to estrangement and emotional turmoil, maintaining the individual's values and seeking personal growth through lifestyle choices, such as avoiding certain significant life events, may prove necessary for fostering relationships without causing further distress.
